How long should you try to handle things on your own before seeking help?

Published May 11, 2026.

The stigma of engaging with mental healthcare continues to lessen in the United States, but that doesn’t mean it feels easy to seek out. Many people still think they need to “tough it out” on their own, especially if they are a man or part of a minority group.

Some people find they need time to process emotions after experiencing trauma, stress, or a long day at work. So, how do you know when you just need a minute, and when you should seek therapy and other support? This guide will help you know how to tell if you need therapy.

If you feel like you may hurt yourself or someone else, call 911 or text 988 (the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) now, and come back to this article later. Zencare.co is here to support you whenever you are ready.

How to know when to see a therapist

The best rule of thumb is simple. If you have to think about when to seek therapy, it’s probably time to start searching for therapists in your area. Even if you don’t have an official diagnosis, these signs are common indicators of conditions like PTSD, depression, anxiety, and more.

You have experienced a trauma

Every brain processes events differently, meaning a traumatic event will affect you differently than anyone else. There is no such thing as an issue being “too small” for therapy, whether you were assaulted or got into a fight with your best friend, therapy can help you work through your concerns and get to the root of why the issue affected you the way it did.

Your work, hobbies, or relationships are suffering

When you’re dealing with a mental illness or emotional hardship, everything else falls to the wayside. You struggle to focus at work. You can’t find the motivation to clean the house. Even your hobbies fail to keep your interest, and when the people around you get too close, you want to lash out at them. If you feel overwhelmed or like your life is “falling apart,” a therapist can enable you to make sense of things and create a plan that may help you re-establish control over your life.

Your physical health is affected

Mental and physical health majorly influence each other. When your mental health suffers, you may notice physical changes like:

• Weight gain or loss
• Insomnia
• Fatigue and exhaustion
• Frequent illness
• Body aches and unexplained pain

You’re starting to rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) estimates that about 17% of Americans over the age of 12 meet the criteria for an alcohol or substance use disorder (AUD and SUD). Furthermore, people often turn to excessive sex, gambling, and escapist activities (like gaming) when they are experiencing challenges in life. While any of these in moderation may not indicate a problem, therapy might be helpful if participating in your vice takes away from the rest of your life, or if you feel like you may be becoming addicted to it.

Your symptoms last for more than two weeks

Part of being human is experiencing the full range of emotion, and sometimes that includes being sad, anxious, or hopeless. However, emotions come and go. If yours appear to be here to stay, this may indicate something more than being “stuck in your feelings.” Any negative feelings or symptoms that last more than two weeks deserve a conversation with your doctor or a mental health professional.

Someone else expresses concern

Sometimes, it’s challenging to see your life objectively. Habits and changes to your personality rarely happen overnight, and it can be easy to fall into a new cycle without noticing. It’s more likely that the people around you will see the difference. This is especially true when the changes cause mental illness, which can distort your perception of yourself and others.

When someone confronts you about their concerns, try not to get defensive or jump to conclusions. Listen to what they have to say and know that it usually comes from a place of love. You should also feel empowered to ask for help if you need it. The person wouldn’t say anything if they didn’t want to support you however they can.

You seriously consider self-harm, hurting others, or suicide

Finally, even the most fleeting thought can lead to action later on. If you ever think about hurting yourself, hurting someone else, or taking action to end your life, this is a red flag that you should immediately find support. In this instance, though, finding a therapist is secondary. Your first step should involve reaching out to a loved one or emergency services.

When you’re in this state of mind, you may feel like a burden, or like no one would care if something happened to you. Another way to get help outside of your personal network is to call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. You are not alone, and there are people who want to see you live. The 988 number connects you directly with professionals who are dedicated to getting you through this crisis and connecting you with the resources you may need in the future.

Find help with Zencare today

When you’re going through a challenging time, Zencare’s directory of nationwide therapists makes your next steps easier. Take our matching quiz today and find help that aligns with your needs.